A father of two elementary school aged children stopped by my Wise Ambitions College Consulting table at the San Diego County Fair last week. He was interested in what a
college consultant does, said his friend had hired one and that he planned to, but not for "at least eight more years". Then he asked me
about the value of summer programs and activities, and if colleges care about
those, and shouldn't he start now by having his kids in Girl and Boy scouts,
because in eight years, wouldn't it be too late?
I realized as I listened that there were no simple answers to
his questions, so I said something reassuring and handed him my business card.
But I want to share the answers now, because they're important, and too
complex for a county fair conversation.
Parents, preparing for college is really preparing for adult
life. College, for those who choose to attend, is the last sanctuary for
mentored practice at living. At its best, college opens doors and
windows, widens horizons, inspires and educates, broadens perspectives and
eliminates prejudice. As almost an after thought, most colleges also help
students find and pursue their passions, with a focus on turning those into
meaningful, gainful employment.
The question isn't, "Should my children participate in
summer activities or scouts and will colleges care?" but, "What
activities will be best for my children to enrich their adult lives?"
Life is not a dress rehearsal, and your children aren't auditioning for a
play. Colleges, like parents, want students to have what's best for them.
So, if your daughter is curious about plants and animals, go
hiking and camping together, buy her pets, take her to aquariums, zoos and
botanical gardens. Don't do it so that she can ace AP Biology or become
an engineer, do it because it is her passion at the moment and you have the
power to gift those experiences. If your son loves to draw pictures and
cartoons, buy him reams of blank paper, pencils, crayons, paint. Take him
to art museums and buy him a camera. Show him how to use a ruler and graph
paper to draw an image to scale. Art is under appreciated by society, and
he may not be able to make money doing it, but life is not a race to nowhere,
it is a journey, and if art makes his life richer, what parent wouldn't want
that?
Life is the cumulative total of all our experiences and
passions. College is just one more place where those can be nourished and
explored. Don't give college admissions counselors the power to decide
how your child should live their life. Just let your child be, and find a
college that appreciates them for the person they are becoming.
And sure, joining Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts is a great idea.
